One of the “super cool” (read: terrible, guilt inducing) features of WordPress is that when you start a post, and then leave it in drafts, it gives you a little timer with how long you’ve left it there. I’m sorry, WordPress, that I didn’t finish the post I started six days ago. I’m not sorry I just deleted it after you wouldn’t let me edit it the way I wanted to. Don’t be a jerk.

I had planned on writing something about how hard it’s been to sew. About how basting stitches and tiny joining stitches were made for three days to the sound of my grandpa’s breathing, about how I sat and stitched and talked to my uncles and my mom and my grandma about life and how wonderful of a man my grandpa was. And about how, since then, it’s felt like a little bit of a chore to sit down and keep stitching. Like every stitch punctuates the fact that he’s gone, the fact that it’s so very final. And the truth is, I’m absolutely not ready to confront those feelings. I struggled to sew in the weeks after my grandma on my dad’s side passed away a few years ago too. She taught me to sew, and every stitch punctuated the fact that she’d never see anything else I made. My grandpa loved getting handmade gifts from me. It’s hard to know that the quilt top I’m stitching will forever be connected to his death, and he’ll never get to curl up under it with me.

One of my very favorite plays is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard, and there’s a quote in it that’s always haunted me. I know, I know, everyone is shocked I’m not over here pulling from Order of the Phoenix right now, but I need a reread.

“No, no, no… you’ve got it all wrong… you can’t act death. The fact of it is nothing to do with seeing it happen —it’s not gasps and blood and falling about—that isn’t what makes it death. It’s just a man failing to reappear, that’s all —now you see him, now you don’t, that the only thing that’s real: here one minute and gone the next and never coming back—an exit, unobtrusive and unannounced, a disappearance gathering weight as it goes on, until, finally, it is heavy with death.”

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead – Tom Stoppard

How do you even cope with the disappearance? With the weight? I don’t know. I know I don’t want to cope with it. I also know that I’ll be picking Rosencrantz & Guildenstern back up as soon as our stuff arrives next week and I unpack it.

Which brings us on to happier things! Our furniture is due to arrive Monday morning! We have one more week in an Airbnb, and then we get to sleep in our bed, with our pillows. I don’t know if I’ve ever been more excited about the amount of work headed our way.

We rented an apartment last week, and we bought a refrigerator and a washer and a tv. We’ve started taking some of our things over to the house so we don’t have to move them next week, since we’ll need to be over there no later than 8am. We have a list of electric things that we still need to buy – kettle, coffee grinder, blender, vacuum, microwave, cables for dual voltage things- and a list for Ikea, which is on the docket for Wednesday after we have our customs-clearing appointment.

We spent some time Saturday walking through the apartment, trying to figure out where our furniture goes, what we need, etc. And we are definitely ready for it. We have (we think) most of the things we need sorted out. Tomorrow on the list is picking up a tape measure from the hardware store so we can measure some walls before we head to Ikea.

And, of course, there is a new sewing room coming! I’m so very excited to set up the room I’ve been pondering for a while. In our last house, based on the size of the room, I had a normal desk, a shelf for fabric (and some little shelves on top of that) and then I built a cutting table out of three Kallax units and some board. My new room is bigger, but in a different way.

I’m planning a long table with an Alex drawer unit in the center (inspiration credit Zaaberry) along one wall. On one side of the table, my sewing machine. On the other, my cutting mat and laptop(s). It’s a lot easier to move a laptop than it is to move a sewing machine, so I’m also looking at some risers/shelf options to help with this too.

Behind me, a 5×5 Kallax unit. Six (top center 3×3) of the cubes with shelves, the five along the bottom with drawers/doors (tbd: let’s see what’s in stock!). This setup should give me plenty of space for not just my fabric but also my notions. I also am going to need a rug because our entire apartment is hardwood and I definitely want something cushy between the table and shelves.

Eventually, I’ll also pick up a comfy chair. I want somewhere to curl up with handwork or a book that is my own. Something soft (I’m thinking velvet), either a chaise or a plush chair with an ottoman where I could theoretically also nap and it would be a lovely photo spot for quilt swirls. Ikea is failing me on exactly what I want, so it’ll have to wait. For now, I can curl up on the sofa.

We’ll have a lot of decorating to do – with two HUGE rooms, one of which is going to be the living room and the other the dining room, it’ll be interesting to see how we put everything together. I think the biggest thing right now is we’re missing closets/wardrobes, so that’s part of our Ikea trip this week also – putting together wardrobes. It’s a party!